then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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