ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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