she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize