well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
