so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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