You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
