Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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