The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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