i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize