It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I could fuck to npr.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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