I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
