i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
