my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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