U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
