Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
