She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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