I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
