i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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