well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
