she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
