you have to choose: penises or morals?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
