And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
