Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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