I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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