What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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