The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
