yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
