I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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