Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
