they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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