Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
