just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
