new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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