nut hugger
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
