Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I have post one night stand depression
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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