So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
