maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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