My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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