she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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