oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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