Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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