Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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