Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
