I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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