Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
