she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
