Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
