She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
