i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
