he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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