He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Drunk is a universal language darling
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
