who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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