shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
pop tarts are not kleenex
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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