What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
