I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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