you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize