Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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