he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
