Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
