break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
