I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
