everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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