if i can run in heels then i can drive
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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