dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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