no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
