New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Two words: nipple clamps
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